A Cup of Joe Pt. 1
Updated: Jun 8, 2020
I am so frustrated, Joe's teacher told me Joe doesn't like to really sit in class. At first she was letting him stand to do his work, but then he started to walk around. His teacher told me Joe makes noises and tends to get loud. I've talked to Joe about trying to stay still and not making noise, following directions, and behaving at school. Well after a few months she tells me I should look into having him tested for ADHD, she tells me she's not a doctor but she sees red flags. So I go to Joe's doctor who have been seeing him since he was born, they tell me I have to fill out an evaluation sheet and so does the teacher. I tell the nurse I would like 3 teacher evaluations and 2 parent ones. She gives them to me and I had them out. I filled mine out before Zac came home and when he filled his out I didn't say anything because I didn't want us to influence each other. But I did compare after he was done and to my surprise they were pretty much the same, a few differences here and there but nothing major. I collected the 3 teacher evaluations and gave all 5 evaluations to the doctor, the evaluations were handed in before Thanksgiving and Joe's doctor's appointment was December 17th.
Joe and I went to the doctor's appointment and we were both asked a series of questions. I inform the doctor I can only answer how he behaves at home; it close to an hour to do his homework, 30 of those minutes is spent reading. During that time he sits still, doesn't get up, doesn't fidget, doesn't make noise. If I give him more than 3 thing directions sometimes he forgets other times he does all 3 steps, it's hit or miss. He makes stop animation Lego movies which take about an hour or more, because he creates the items used in the movie, sets up the movie, has to take shot by shot a one minute video takes up to 70 pictures, then he watches the movie, and then adds dialogue, and sound effects. While he is making the movie he'll probably stop twice to get water for his voice and/or use the bathroom. He doesn't play video games every day, and when it comes to his sister they are mostly fighting but there is a 10 year difference and 8 times out of ten JJ is the one that starts it. I then tell her everything the teacher has told me; he doesn't like sitting down for long periods of time, he makes noises when he is doing work, he doesn't follow directions, and at times he doesn't keep his hands to himself. The doctor asked me about Joe's grades... he's on A honor roll, and got math excellence award, on his EOGs he got 4s and 5s, he reads above his grade level and does math above his grade level. The doctor tells me, that all the evaluations were pretty much the same, following directions and fidgety where the only real concerns she did not believe Joe has ADHD and does not want to put him on meds just to have him sit still and that he might be bored in class maybe extra worksheets or tougher worksheets. I take Joe back to the school and told the teacher what Joe's doctor said. She literally stops walking and doing what she was doing and says, "Oh No! He has ADHD and the doctor is wrong! He's not bored and he needs meds." I was in shock didn't know what to say, then she continues, "We will set an appointment to talk more about this but that diagnosis is wrong."
I head to the school counselor for extra help. I tell her everything and she agrees to help me. Well in the meantime I try to set up a second opinion, but was told by a couple of people that the doctor that has seen Joe is the best one. After Christmas break the teacher tells me that Joe is having a hard time making and keeping friends, which Joe does not think that's happening and I've seen Joe at school... he says hi to so many kids and they say hi back... she tells me that Joe is not respecting personal space, and that she is willing to redo the evaluation for it to reflect Joe has ADHAD. I touch base with the counselor and tell her these new details, she tells me that she does have a day scheduled to visit the whole class and observe and a day to talk to Joe. I tell her how I tried to schedule a second option and she gives me the name of the doctor who created the evaluation and he is in the same doctor's building Joe has been going to. I thank her and call the new doctor.
The new doctor after hearing everything I have said tell me, "I work close to the school and I don't want to burn any bridges, I will call the school and see what they say." I hang up frustrated because he's the doctor, he needs to do the tests, yes, talk to the school but I hope he does more than just that. I couple of days later the counselor calls me and tells me her findings. Joe was well behaved, focused, and was right on par with the rest of the class, but the teacher did say it was probably because he got in trouble earlier in the day and didn't want to act up in front of another adult, but she still has to talk to him one-on-one.
Now I wait for the start of this school week when the new doctor, the school counselor, and I talk, and God willing I might get answers and Joe gets the right help. I feel like I'm stuck in a weird cycle... I just want it to stop, I just want the best for Joe, but it's seems to be a difficult task.